Your Evening Freeman


I have a habit of indulging in anti-patriarchy jokes at cis-men’s expense (but pmuch the only cis-men I interact with are my friend’s romantic partners).

So when we get together, there have been more than a few times where we’ve upset the guy to the point he has an angry temper-tantrum.  It’s unfortunate, given that the guy usually is all but too used to making fun, condescending, or belittling their cis-woman partner (all as a joke, of course XP).

On three separate occasions (there are many more microaggressions of the same type), each with different friends, their ex-partner/partner has reacted by insisting that my friend be isolated with them so they can be subjected to their rage or frustration.

Most recently, since I live with the dude this time, I talked to him about his anger, sidestepping his attempts to garner male sympathy from me (nice try, guy), establishing that he doesn’t have a right to keep us from hanging out at the house since I am a tenant, and I felt good about stopping the negativity, even though I would have rather continued to hang with my friend instead of her being driven home because his feelings got hurt.

It was ridiculous, considering that he was literally in the middle of trying to belittle and condescend her over what kind of keyboards they used. But, because we were both laughing, brushing it off, dismissing him, that’s when he couldn’t take it any more and insisted that he drive her home…

Idk, witnessing these kinds of interactions make me feel like heteronormative relationships are almost at all times volatile and dangerous. Yet, I can’t say that these scenarios would have emerged were i not male-passing and black, i.e. the scapegoated object of jealousy and relationship insecurity.”

M.I. Freeman, 2014.


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